Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Cultural Adjustments
What is the good of learning about a new culture, living in a new culture and learning it from the inside-out? Why, if my own cultural experience in the states is sufficient, do I kill myself trying to adapt to a new one?
Selections from a letter I received from a friend shed some light on the issue...
Brian,
Greetings from Manila!
I gather you are finding the cultural difference more significant and difficult to adjust to than they were in Ireland (they are). But it is still much less than it would be if you were living with the Lebanese Muslims, not to mention the Bantus.
These experiences are very valuable because they force some changes that we would never have made on our own. It makes us much more able to deal with cultural differences and people of other cultures. Some things the "others" do are probably better, others worse, but the key thing is getting to the point where you can accept cultural differences as such and work with them — somewhat like accepting the weather. Some people never can, and they are pretty much useless outside their home situation. They do not have an inter-cultural capacity (or, as some say, they are not very cosmopolitan).
Connected to this is an internal change, which means that you take less of your own cultural ways for granted. Even if you prefer them (most people prefer the culture they have been raised in), at least you don't absolutize them. Once that changes, it is amazing how different the world looks, as I suspect you already know. That in turn gives you more detachment and cultural flexibility.
One of the great blessings of international community life is the chance to adjust to a new culture with a great deal of help.
I think that, as you say, you will find all this quite valuable and character forming — in the long run, of course.
Often I experience stretching on the most menial of issues: how we wash the dishes here, the time it takes to prepare a meal, the way people drive (you have to have been here to know what I mean) or just the formalities of relating when one enters a room full of people. When I think about these day-to-day challenges for me, I am learning to be patient and not always needing to do things the "Western way." I learn to not only accept a different culture than my own, but to accept others for being the way they are also. I am often confusing what is a cultural difference and what is a personal difference, and as I resolve not to worry about which is which, I learn to out aside my own preferences more and more.
There is no doubt that I am still an American, as much as people say- "Now you are becoming Lebanese!" I still have my preferences, and as Steve said above, most people prefer the culture that they grew up in. I miss the States, but not badly; and as I am beginning to see these differences not as mix-ups that I must deal with, but rather as legitimate alternatives, I am experiencing more peace about my life here, about those around me, and about myself.
# posted by Brian @ 7:42 AM 
